Tag Archives: mother and daughter
My daughter, Erin and I started this blog, when we first embarked on our journey around the world, creating a film about individuals making positive change. It was then, and continues to be a journey that the two of us share intimately – together as mother and daughter. Our trip was filled with memorable experiences as we circled the globe. Our film has been a journey for our audiences, who were motivated to “do something”, inspired by individuals like Maggie Doyne who has changed the lives of thousands of children. We formed a very strong bond through this experience, and that has become be part of our legacy.
The great news is that Erin is getting married next month, to a wonderful young man named Bryan. My husband and I feel blessed and happy that Erin and Bryan have found one another to experience life together – the joys and sorrows and everything in between. And so another chapter begins in her life and ours.
As I look back, my most cherished memories are about Erin. It’s usually the little moments that resonate the most – like the time she greeted me at the airport after I had been away for a long period of time. She was probably about 5 or 6 years old, and she ran up to me, arms outstretched with exuberance and joy, laughing as she called out “Mommy!” after spotting me in the crowd. I’ll never forget that moment. It was pure love.
Love and relationships are what makes a life worth living. These days, it is easy to lose sight of the simplicity of that thought, because we are all distracted by other things in the consumer culture we live in. I am grateful that Erin and I took time in our lives when we did, to make time for one another. I know that both of us were incredibly humbled by our journey and witnessing what the power of “love” could do, on a global scale. We formed a bond and we will have that bond forever.
So I say to Erin, “Be happy on your wedding day and all the other days that you and Bryan get to spend together. Cherish each moment. It’s what life is made up of – every precious one.”
It was one of those really busy days. We were having an Oscar party that night and then flying out to California the next morning. I was walking out of the supermarket with a full cart of groceries and a bag toppled off the top, spewing its contents all over the parking lot. I picked up the mess, got in the car and was heading home when the phone rang. It was my sister telling me that they were taking my mother to the hospital. She didn’t sound good at all and she hung up. I got home, called out to Tom and Erin to help me put the perishables away, and alerted them to what had happened. Fifteen minutes later, we were all in the car, heading to the hospital when my sister called again. She told me that mom had died on the way to the hospital. And I instantly thought “my unasked questions will never be answered” – questions that have been in my mind since I was a young child – questions about my mother’s story – but I was always too afraid to ask.
The next few weeks were a blur – telling people about my mother’s death, dealing with legalities, travel logistics and funeral arrangements. After the distractions gave way to the final realization that my mother had died – I was going through some things at her apartment. I discovered an old purse containing a bundle of letters, going back to the early 1970’s and I spent the rest of the day, reading them. I was beginning to find some of the answers to the questions that I was always too fearful to ask. I also discovered a part of my family that I never knew I had.
I have gotten to know and love this family over these past eight years. For me it has been a time for discovery and has provided me with somewhat of an explanation of who I am and what drives me to do what I do. For my “new found family” – it has reconnected them to my mother and her legacy. The missing pieces were found and the circles completed on both ends.
I suppose you could say that some inexplicable force has driven me since my mother’s passing. Six years after she died, I journeyed around the world with my daughter, creating a movie. We formed a bond that will last a lifetime, a bond that I had always wished I had with my mother. But I know that in many ways my mother has been a big part of my journey.
As I complete the circle of the making of this film, I’m starting to see my mother’s story play out cinematically in my head – vivid in every detail. It’s an amazing story that is crying out to be told and it’s beginning to write itself.
Oh my, that’s exactly how the idea for Opening Our Eyes got started.
It’s hard to believe that it has been 25 years, today, since you were born. My life changed that day I became your mother, in thousands of meaningful ways. I cannot have imagined how life would have been without you in it.
I’m sure every parent reading this understands how profoundly life changes when they become a parent – and for the good. The biggest change for me is that I became less selfish. I had to consider that my actions not only affected just me anymore. Of course couples should think like that anyway if they want to have a good relationship – but it’s a different type of selfless care when it comes to your child.
Today is another milestone. It was two years ago that we started our journey together as far as this project. We officially launched the Opening Our Eyes blog on Jan. 5, 2010. Five months later we embarked on our travels around the world. We not only completed the journey – we have completed a film. A film that I hope will inspire others to do whatever small acts – or large acts – they can that can make our planet a better place.
It seems fitting that at midnight tonight our campaign on IndieGoGo is over – bringing this blog and project full circle.
I never would have imagined 25 years ago that we would have experienced such a wonderful and amazing project together. But we did and we will have that connection for an eternity. But to be honest, I value every other little moments in our lives that we’ve spent together just as priceless.
Today is Mother’s Day, a day to acknowledge and be grateful for all of the wonderful things that mothers do – making you grilled cheese on a rainy day, helping you finish that diorama that you waited until the last minute to do, buying you your first prom dress, encouraging you to follow your dreams and supporting you every step of the way. While I’m certainly grateful for all of those things, I’m even more grateful for what my mother did for me last year – provide me with the opportunity to travel around the world and meet incredible individuals along the way.
There aren’t too many mothers who could accomplish such a feat. Sure, they would love to do that with their daughters, but very few take the plunge and I bet even fewer could handle the conditions. It wasn’t exactly smooth sailing all the way. Staying in hostels, sleeping on the floor of a bamboo hut, getting bitten up the wazoo by mosquitoes, going without running water and air conditioning for days on end. And the hardest part – traveling with your daughter for 99 days straight. Nobody loves his or her kid that much to want to spend that much time with them, right? All in all, you certainly have to have an adventurous spirit to do such a thing, and no one has more of one than my mom.
I was continually amazed at her tenacity and determination throughout the trip. It didn’t matter how hot it was in Nepal, how badly her knees were hurting, how congested the streets of India were – she always kept going, no matter the obstacle. But then again, she has been like that all of my life; never making excuses and never giving up.
I think the best part of the trip for me was the fact that I got to do it with my mom and see her in action; not just as a mother, but also as a traveler in her element. I learned so much about her as a person, someone who has dreams and fears, just like me. And consequently, I have learned more about who I am as a person and why I am that way. Or in some instances, why I’m not a certain way. It’s fascinating to me how two closely related people can have such opposite reactions to the same situation. How can one person just jump on a subway train in Moscow while the other is compelled to stop and take the time to decipher the Cyrillic signs first? It’s a mystery.
I guess what I really want to say is that my mom is the coolest, most supportive and most inspiring mom I know. I am so lucky to have her in my life and that is what I am grateful for the most. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I love you.
Before my daughter and I left for our 3-month odyssey around the world we got a lot of questions and remarks about our upcoming trip. Most men asked me what my husband thought about me taking off for 99 days and most of the women I told remarked that they would love to do something like this with their own daughters. Erin got consistent comments from her friends and colleagues – “You’re going on a trip with your mother for 3 months!!!”
When I was 23 years old, I probably would have reacted the same way so I feel quite fortunate that my daughter Erin was anxious to take on this journey and project with me. When originally planning this trip and documentary, I was planning on doing it solo. Now that we are about a month into our adventure, I can’t imagine doing this without Erin – but coming along, had to be her idea. I’m also very lucky that I have an understanding husband that knew this was something I needed to do and supported me in every way.
We are opposites in many ways. I’m extroverted – Erin’s introverted. I’m impulsive at times and ready just to jump into things, like a train in the Moscow Metro without knowing if it’s the right one, or take part in an impromptu gathering. Erin is more patient and accesses the situation before acting on it. I’m more flexible and if the situation warrants it, I’ll roll with the punches, while Erin gets a bit more stressed when things don’t always go according to plans. So, we complement each other – me providing a bit of adventure and Erin keeping us in check.
Erin navigated us around the Moscow Metro and I can honestly say, I have no idea how she did that. I put my trust in her and we never got lost. I pushed her out of her comfort zone a bit – in fact every time we walked through a market or bazaar, Erin was a good sport and wore a little video helmet cam
and got a great insight into the experience and provided the viewer with the feeling of being there.
We’ve seen a lot of the world’s great landmarks, had a lot of laughs and some tears when we encountered problems in Belarus and have already collected a lifetime of memories with a lot more to come. We’ve approached our subjects from the eyes of two different generations and they’ve responded accordingly. In fact, I believe that our mother/ daughter approach to this documentary has been very advantageous as far as the rapport we’ve had with our subjects.
With two more months to go – so far so good – at least from my perspective and I hope Erin agrees. I know one thing – the day Erin sent me an email saying that she wanted to do this with me, has proven to be the best day ever. I can’t imagine doing this without her.