The best part about creating the documentary, Opening Our Eyes, was getting to be around some of the most amazing, inspirational people I’ve ever met in my life.  So many things that these folks said during their interviews, still run through my mind on a daily basis.

Showing Maggie the first “cut”.

One thing in particular was something that Maggie Doyne said when she was talking about what she built in Nepal “It’s not perfect.  If I had waited for things to be perfect, none of this would have happened.”

I work and live with a perfectionist, my husband and my business partner.  We are opposites in every way.  I am one to take my “big idea” and jump right into it.  I’m also one who wants to complete something and follow through right away, regardless if it’s “perfect” or not.  For example:  I could have/should have gotten this film professionally color graded before I sent it out to festivals and distributors. But, I didn’t have the funds to do that, so rather than let the film “get old” until I could get more funding (which may not have happened), I pushed it out to the universe, and good things have happened.

It’s good to be detail oriented and to strive for perfection, but not if you use it to give yourself reasons to stop yourself from moving forward.  Many times, when I tell my husband my latest “big idea”, his first instincts are to tell me dozens of reasons I shouldn’t act on it until……………everything is perfect.  His intentions are good – he wants to protect me from failure, but if I let it, his words might also end up protecting me from success.

We both recognize our differences now as our individual strengths and that when we listen, learn and balance those opinions and differences so that they can work together instead of opposed to each other, great things can happen.  But that takes practice and also not having to be right all the time.  There is no one “right” and that’s the beauty of collaboration and working in harmony.

“She’s from the mainland isn’t she?” the woman said as she got into my friend’s truck.  I laughed and she said “I knew you weren’t from here when you said, “hi, I’m Gail and extended your hand” – “ we don’t do that here.”  My good friend PF Bentley was driving me to the tiny island airport and he had stopped to pick up a couple of friends for a meeting they were going to attend after getting me on my way.

Last week, after getting an email from PF alerting me about incredible airfares to Hawaii ($425 roundtrip from Newark to Honolulu), I made an impulse decision, bought a ticket and here I was on the island of Molokai, heading home after 4 days on the island. Some might say, that’s an awful long way to go for such a short time and I suppose that may be true. However it was 4 days that gave me a well needed break, and more importantly a time to step back from the noise of my life and ask myself “have I gotten off purpose?”

The fact is I had gotten way off purpose over the last few months.  I had begun doing things other people wanted me to do and in the process I forgot who I was.  When that happens, everything seems to turn sour and in the process I seem to do more “pushing” my dreams out there, and getting nowhere. Instead I should do what it is I am meant to do, regardless if people accept it or understand it and then things will fall into place as they should.

Over a decade ago, PF had taught me how to tell a story and how to translate that to “film”.  If it weren’t for PF, our film, Opening Our Eyes would not have been possible.  Thirteen years ago, he stirred something inside of me and I went from a state of stale complacency to an awakened spirit.  The spirit had always been inside of me, but I had begun not to listen to it.

It’s been a short but glorious 4 days.  PF and his beautiful wife Amy soothed my soul with humor, color, art, wonderful food and love. Amy is one of the most creative people I have ever met and a true inspiration in many ways. She taught me the ukulele and we played and sang and laughed.  PF taught me new technical skills – color grading and mixing sound, but he also showed me his island home and once again he awakened my spirit.  Mahalo (thank you) Amy for bringing color to my life and thank you PF for once again getting my train back on track.

This is a radio interview that Erin and I did

Gail Mooney and Erin Kelly Radio interview, SLOIFF

when we were out at our premiere at the  San Luis Obispo International Film Festival.  We were on Bill Benica’s local talk show “Talk is Cheap”.  It was a lot of fun and I’m happy that it was archived.

Nice memories.

Listen

I ran into someone over the weekend who I had not seen in many years.  We had been good friends, but we had drifted apart, over some disagreements, that neither of us could even remember. I’m sure those disagreements seemed important at the time, but now they just seemed trivial.  We both realized that we had let our egos get in the way of our friendship and instead of trying to heal the hurts that had severed our friendship – we put more angst, anger and sadness in its place.

I started thinking about the kids that I met at the Oasis Youth Network

Sir Richard Branson making breakfast sandwiches at the Oasis Youth Network, Sydney, Australia

in Sydney, Australia, when Erin and I were there, shooting this segment of Opening Our Eyes.  One young man was telling his story of growing up in a broken home, with parents who were drug addicts and gamblers.  He talked about stealing money for his lunch when he was a kid, and never having clean clothes to wear to school.  He talked about getting into a life of drugs and crime and eventually being sent to jail, away from his children and everything that was good in his life.  And then he talked about how Oasis had given him his life back and how Paul Moulds in particular had given him a “second chance”.

When we interviewed Paul Moulds for our film, he made a comment that still resonates with me to this day, almost two years later.  In talking about kids who grew up in homes like the one this young man described, or worse yet, kids who were homeless and trying to scrape out some kind of life on the streets, he said:  “we try to help these young people by training them and finding them a job – but who is going to be willing to hire them when they have no address, no education and no record of employment?” He went on to say that no matter, how much pain some of these kids had grown up with or how many wrong decisions they had made in their lives, that he still believed in giving them second chances.  I remember thinking at the time that the world needed more people like Paul – people who believed in giving others, a second chance.

We all say and do stupid things in our lives and in the process, we end up hurting ourselves and the people we truly care about.  We’ve given into our “precious egos” when we behave like that.  Ultimately, many of us come to realize that we only bring more pain in our lives, by continuing to hold onto the hurts from the past, instead of letting go of our egos, and giving someone who may have done us wrong – a second chance.  I think sometimes in our efforts to protect ourselves from being hurt by others, we bring more pain to our lives by shutting the door on second chances.

Jackson Browne writes, “It seems easier sometimes to change the past”. Unfortunately, we can’t change the past, but we don’t need to keep holding onto it.  While it’s not easy to give someone a second chance, it feels so much better to leave the door open to possibilities. Imagine what the world would be like if we all thought like Paul Moulds, and thought that everyone deserves a second chance.

The last Christmas I spent with my mother was the Christmas of 2003. I didn’t know that would be our last Christmas together. She died very suddenly, less than two months later. I often wonder if I had known that Christmas was to be the last one that I’d spend with my mother, if I would have asked her the questions that I always wanted to ask. One thing I do remember about that Christmas was a moment during the evening when I caught a look in my mother’s face that I had seen before – a distant look where I felt as if she was somewhere else.

After my mother’s death, I learned a great deal about my mother – things I would have loved to have talked to her about. I was a perceptive and curious child, and there were always questions that I wanted to ask her, but I never did. I don’t know why. I could say that there was “never the right time” but I’ve grown to hate that expression or should I say excuse. I guess I was just too afraid.

I would not have been able to take the journey around the world with my daughter Erin and make this film if it hadn’t been for my mother. That’s why the name of the production company is Nola Productions, Nola was my mother’s name. When she died, she left me a bit of money and that helped finance Opening Our Eyes. That and airline miles, hotel points, crowd-funding and lots of help from my friends. But my mother gave me something even more important than money, that made this film happen. She gave me, belief in myself and compassion for others. If it hadn’t have been for my mom, I wouldn’t have had the desire to make a film that delivers the message, that we can all make a difference in how we choose to live our lives. And she always told me to believe in myself and my dreams and that anything was possible.

If you were to ask me (and many have) what was the best part of the trip – I’d would tell you that ii was spending time with my daughter. We not only explored the world together – we got to know each other as people – beyond the mother/daughter relationship. We’ll both remember the amazing places we went to and the extraordinary people that we met, but I think the memories that will linger the longest will be the conversations that we had along the way. We both asked the questions that we had been wanting to ask and shared the stories that we needed to share. Ultimately we “took the time” to get to know one another.

When I tell women about this trip and what I did with my daughter – they always say one of two things – or both – “Oh I would love to do that with my daughter” or “ I wish I had gotten to know my mother better”. I’m grateful that I had this time with my daughter and I know my mom was with us all the way. We couldn’t have done it without her.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone.

Yesterday as I was packing my gear for an upcoming three week trip to New Zealand, I had a major flashback to when I was getting ready for a 99-day trip around the world. My daughter, Erin and I had embarked on that journey about a year and a half ago.  But this time, I was going solo.

I looked at all the gear laid out on the dining room table, just as I did last year, wondering how I would fit it into one small backpack. I will strip it down of course, taking only the gear that I can manage by myself.  For the most part, I will be traveling solo this time. It got me thinking about the round-the-world trip that I took last year with Erin.

I’ve spent the better part of my life traveling the world and taking pictures. Most of those years, I was a solo act, on assignment for various magazines and corporations.  Last year, when Erin heard that I would be circling the globe, she wanted to come along. Initially, I hadn’t imagined the trip or the project as a collaborative effort – let alone with my daughter.  She had recently graduated from Northwestern University in Chicago and had been lucky enough to get a job. But Erin wanted to be part of this project and journey and so it became a combined effort – a mother-daughter team.

That ended up being the best part about the trip– sharing that experience with my daughter. We’ll have that bond for a lifetime.  And now, I couldn’t have imagined doing that journey any other way.

Since then, there have been countless hours/days/weeks/months that have gone into the post-production part of the film, leaving the “journey” a collection of water colored memories floating in my head. I’ve remained closely connected to the project because I’ve been very hands-on with the edit. So for me, those memories remain part of my daily psyche.  In that regard, the making of the film has been a bit bittersweet as I am reminded daily – that part of the journey is over.

We’ll always have those beautiful memories burned inside our heads. More importantly, we have a film that can be shared with others around the world, in the hopes that it will provoke thought and maybe even move people to action – to make a difference.

Please share this film.  That’s the only way it will happen.

Sam Carr, Lula, MS

I was preparing a print today to send off to the YPA for their upcoming auction and fundraiser. It was a portrait of blues drummer Sam Carr and it had recently been on exhibit in the Senate building Rotunda. The photograph was part of a personal project that I had embarked on over ten years ago: The Delta Bluesmen. The project consisted of environmental still portraits of the musicians as well as interviews of them that I had captured on video. This resulted in a short documentary and multimedia exhibition.

I thought that it would be nice to include the DVD of the documentary as part of what I was offering for auction.  While making sure that the DVD played OK, I got sucked into watching the full 20-minute piece.  It had been a long time since I had watched this film and it struck me that all but one of the seven musicians in the film had died.

At the time, I came up with the idea for that project, I really didn’t know why I wanted to shoot a project on these blues musicians – I just knew that I had to.  It’s not like I was a super avid blues fan.  I did love the music but I wasn’t one of those fans who could recite the “who’s who” in the blues world.  I was interested more in the cultural background of these men and their music. What gave birth to that music in that part of our country at that time in history?

I listened to the interviews of these men telling their stories about growing up as poor black men in the South during the 20’s and 30’s in America. Sam Carr talked about a time when a lot of the poor folks, up and left to get the good jobs in the North. I couldn’t help but feel the irony as I listened to Sam’s story and reflect back on our trip to Detroit this past winter. We were there to shoot our last and our only North American story for Opening Our Eyes. Those jobs that those poor folks headed North for – are gone. So are the neighborhoods they once called home – now just derelict ruins and vacant lots.  I wondered what the future would hold for the city of Detroit and for the growing numbers of unemployed in our country.

One thing did hit me though as I watched this film that I created so many years ago, and that that I had archived these stories for generations to come.  That made me feel good and proud and that in my own small way I had helped to preserve that legacy. That’s more meaningful to me than just about anything else I can think of doing in my life. I believe that this is my purpose – to tell the stories of our time.  That’s why I had to make The Delta Bluesmen – even though I had never done anything like that before.  It’s the same reason that I had to do Opening Our Eyes.  It took me a lifetime to realize my purpose and I am very grateful that I am able to fulfill it.

I’m anxiously waiting to see a rough cut from my editor Erik Freeland of Springhouse Films. Maybe “anxious” isn’t the right word because it kind of implies that I’m nervous when I’ve not at all. Erik and I have had conversations that confirm in my mind I picked the best editor for this film. It’s the little things he’s said – the comments he’s made about sound bites etc. that affirm in my mind that he understands the story to be told.

I’ve also been kicking around different titles – other than Opening Our Eyes. I’ve contemplated changing the title to the Power of One but I’ve decided against it.

Getting a "little help from our friends".

The reason is, even though each and every one of my subjects is an extraordinary individual, they would all tell you that they aren’t alone in their efforts. Every one has support in some form or another. They could be financial supporters, staff people on their foundations, volunteers, or family and friends that are always there for them.

I know I could never have done this without the support and encouragement of others. When I first thought of this undertaking, I thought I would do it solo. It never would have occurred to me to involve my daughter because she had left the nest, taken up roots in another city and started her own life. Now looking back, I know that I could not have done this without her. And of course, I could have never pulled this off without all the back support from my husband.

I have been blessed to be in a position to work with a great editor. I have been blessed to have incredible friends who have helped me with their feedback on the trailer, the music I chose, the still images I’ve selected and how I phrase things in my written correspondence. A true collaboration of spirits. This past week, I’ve been particularly blessed by the help of two very good friends. I won’t give you the details just yet – because I don’t want to jinx what we’ve been working on. I have grown so much with the help of these special people because I’ve opened my mind up to their suggestions. They may critique my approach at times, but they know they can do that without offending – because I’m eager to learn.

Most of all, I’m grateful to all of you and all my “backers”. Just knowing that there were people out there following our journey and cheering us on – gave us the strength to carry on. You all are the best and I thank you for sticking with us. If we’ve been quiet on the blogging site – it’s because we’ve been really busy taking this to the next step and that is getting this film “out there”. That’s when the magic will really happen and I want all of you to know – it could have never happened without you.

In the words of Marian Kramer “We’ve got to shine each other up.”

Last Wednesday I spent the day with Maggie Doyne, a family friend, neighbor and subject of our film Opening Our Eyes. We spent the afternoon looking at hours of footage that we shot when we visited Maggie and her children in Nepal last summer.

It was a wonderful afternoon,

Gail and Maggie in Mendham,NJ

we talked, we looked at the footage that I hadn’t seen in awhile and we had a nice simple lunch. Being with Maggie is like getting a shot of goodness and it brought back a lot of nice memories of the journey that Erin and I took last summer.

It’s hard to believe that next month it will be a year since we left on our global journey. There are days that the trip is so fresh in my mind and others when it seems like a distant memory. I am still so hands on with the project – editing but for Erin it must seem like it happened in another lifetime.

Maggie said something that really rang true. As she watched the interview and other footage that we shot of her at the Kopila Valley Children’s Home and School she remarked how far she and all the people at Kopila Children’s Home had come since then. When we were there shooting, the school was still under construction even though classes had already begun. And the new kitchen hadn’t been finished yet either. Now both are completed and used on a daily basis.

I thought about how I had been feeling this past winter as I spent 14 hours a day, every day in the editing room for two months solid and I couldn’t see an end in sight to this film becoming a reality. But now it’s in the hands of a great editor with a due date to be completed late next month. When we started our journey almost a year ago, I never imagined that I would still be so entrenched with this project a year later. But then I look back from where I came and I can see how far I’ve come. I needed to be reminded to look back every now and then and observe from that perspective.

Thanks Maggie once again for your inspiration.