“This could be one of those rare moments in life when you can go back in your past and make things right for your future.”

I was in NYC last night and I saw this sign in a shop window.  It wasn’t a big sign, but nevertheless it caught my eye and stopped me in my tracks.  It was the second time this week that I had seen that very same phrase written.  How odd and what an uncanny coincidence to see these same words written in two totally random places, in the same week. I thought, “if only it were true”.

It’s not possible to change the past of course, but I started thinking about it and what I would change, if I could.  There were lots of things that came to mind immediately, that in hindsight I might have done differently.  But when I really started thinking of things that I’ve done in the past, in terms of what I would change to “make things right for my future”, there were only a couple of changes I would make.

The fact is that even the things that I wish I could change the most, probably had to happen for one reason or another in order to have a brighter future.  We can’t change the past, but we can learn from it.

One thing I love about the New Year is that it gives me a feeling of renewed hope and that we all have a fresh start to “get it right” in the coming year.  I’m not one to make grandiose resolutions because they leave me feeling like a big loser weeks later if or when I falter.  I’d rather simply focus on each new day and be the best I can be.

I am not perfect and I never will be.  I am a work in progress and each day, week, month and year I strive to be true to who I am and not let others deter me from my purpose. I will try to remember that no one can really change the past but we can let go of it.  But “letting go” is not trying to erase the past.  Attempting to do that really only harbors negative energy inside.  The very act of trying to repress or block something from your past is in fact the opposite of “letting go”. To really “let go” is to be able to forgive yourself (or others) from past mistakes, and move forward in a positive way. I try to embrace each new day, and give it and everyone I know the opportunity to “make things right for the future”. I can only hope that others will do the same. Imagine the power in that thought.

Be kind, be loving, and focus on the best in others – not the worst, because isn’t that what you’d like others to do for you?  When you start to live life this way, you’ll probably never even have the desire to want to go back and change your past.

Once again, I try to make sense of another senseless act of violence – this time one that snuffed out the lives of 20 innocent children.  Every time there is another tragedy caused by guns, we question our firearms laws and vow to do something about the “problem”.  The usual discussion takes place with lots of talk on both sides of the issue and then dissipates – until the next tragedy.

I think the “problem” goes beyond the discussion of a “right to bear arms”.  I think it speaks to a greater problem and that is how we deal with our fellow man.

Maggie Doyne and some of her children at the Kopila Valley Children’s Home in Surkhet, Nepal

Too often we judge others without knowing much about their circumstances.  Too often we seek to be understood but don’t place importance on seeking to understand someone else.  I think this happens when we become too insular – when we don’t allow ourselves to become in tune to the rest of the world or even our own communities.

Some simple thoughts on how we can become more compassionate:

• Seek to understand – not just to be understood.  I wish I had a dollar every time someone said to me “my point is…….” – I would be rich.  Every time you are tempted to make “your” point – also make an attempt to understand someone else’s.
• Learn to forgive – Human beings are far from perfect.  They do things and say things they usually wish they hadn’t.  When we forgive others for the hurt they’ve done to us, we free ourselves from the pain as well.  When we don’t forgive, we keep the negativity inside. It ends up consuming us.  Try forgiveness instead.
• Don’t judge others – There’s an old saying “people who live in glass houses, shouldn’t throw rocks”.  Don’t judge others unless you want to be judged by them.
• Don’t bully – There are many ways people bully – it’s not always overt.  Bullying really means forcing your way on someone else.  When you ignore someone, you are being just as much of a bully as someone who is more aggressive.  Essentially, you are no different in how you go about “getting your way”.
• Treat people how you would like to be treated.  Stop and think before you speak and act. Would you like to be treated that way. I’ve never liked cliques for this reason.  There’s always an exclusionary aspect to a clique.  There’s always judgments being made about who should and shouldn’t belong.
• Do things for someone without the expectation of return.  The rewards of giving are just that – the act of giving itself is the biggest reward you give yourself. When you do something and expect something in return and it doesn’t happen – it takes away the joy of giving.
• How many times have you told yourself that you will be more caring and giving?  And how many times do you let that thought slip into oblivion without acting on it. Next time you say that – follow through.
• Every simple act of kindness adds up.  Imagine if we all did something kind for someone every day. Just imagine.
• Look past the someone’s exterior.  It’s hard sometimes to look past the actions of someone.  We end up questioning and taking things personally when in fact many times someone’s actions have nothing to do with us
• Live a compassionate life and teach your children through your actions what that means.  It starts there. Showing compassion is one of the best ways to make our world a better place. You will set an example for your children and they will pass that along to future generations.

What are other ways we can be compassionate?

“Compassion and happiness are not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength.” ~Dalai Lama

“My Voice” and not being afraid to use it.  To be truthful, there are plenty of times that I’m afraid to exercise my voice, but I am much more fearful of the consequences if I don’t.  There have been times when I have distanced friends or made colleagues step away from me because I have spoken up for what I feel is the right thing to do.  It is never easy but I would rather live in a world where I fight to give my protagonists the right to exercise their voices, rather than be quieted by them.

To be born at a time in America when all it’s people had a shot at the “American Dream”.  Sadly, that has changed over the last 40-50 years.  It used to be if you got an education and worked hard, you could provide for yourself and your family.  That dream has become harder and harder to achieve as the gap between the “have’s” and “have not’s“ has widened. How much wealth and power is enough for the smallest percentage of Americans?  And why does it come at the cost of so many? I am a true patriot of this country because I still believe that we can get back to the beliefs and principles that our country’s founders held true.

My health even though I pray each day that I remain healthy.  Even though I spend a small fortune for my annual health insurance premium, it comes with a very high deductible.  Because of the high deductible, it’s really catastrophe insurance and in paying the rising costs of those annual premiums, I find it very hard at times to find the necessary funds to cover the out of pocket costs for preventative care.  How does that make sense in a civilized country  – that only the very wealthy or the ones lucky enough to still have benefits at work can afford to maintain their health?

My family and friends.  I have come to learn the true importance of having a family and a handful of friends that I know I can really count on to always be there for me.  We may disagree at times and even become estranged, but it’s those “real” relationships that have weathered the ups and the downs and are my foundation.

That I have shelter, food and other basic human needs because so many people don’t. I have traveled far and wide throughout my entire life and have seen the desperate situations that some people have to live with in all corners of the world.  But I don’t have to go far anymore to see first hand, homeless people and hungry children.  It’s so easy to turn a blind eye to those in need and make judgments about how those folks got to that point.  It’s so easy to tell yourself that there is nothing you can do about that and that you can’t possibly help all those people.  But it’s really not that difficult to do even the simplest of kind acts for somebody who doesn’t have as much as you.  Try it and in doing so you get so much more in return.

My vision and that I’m bold enough at times to trust it .  Sometimes, it is far too easy to follow the trends and think that is the safest route to take, but in the process you end up robbing yourself from who you really are and have to offer. Whenever, I have looked into my heart and followed my path, good things follow.  It may not happen immediately, and along the way the “misses” sometimes are more than the “hits”, but I know if I stay on course, it will lead to what I am meant to do.

What are your thankful for this Thanksgiving?

When Erin and I set out to make a film about ordinary individuals who were doing extraordinary things to make our world a better place, we didn’t know we would be meeting the real heroes of our world.

Maggie Doyne and Bishal, Kopila Valley Childrens Home, Nepal

Each one of the people in our film is doing something that is not only courageous, but some would say, they are doing the impossible.

I suppose we could have chosen more high profile people or celebrities, but we opted to shine a light on the folks most people haven’t even heard of.  That was a deliberate decision because we wanted to show what the individual is capable of.

As I watch the footage of Hurricane Sandy’s aftermath, I’m reminded of the power of the individual.  I heard story after story about regular people who had put aside their own comfort and safety to go to the aid of others who were less fortunate.  These stories will fade in our memories as time goes by, but my hope is that people will take notice and think about their own actions.

It’s easy to get caught up in the hype and glitz of the world we live in, paying homage to the notables, and the large entities that have the power and money to make the biggest splash in the news.  And we talk ourselves out of the little actions that we could take, telling ourselves that we could never measure up.  How sad. Maybe that’s the downside of the culture we live in.

I can only hope that more people will take notice of the ordinary people and the efforts they make – not for money – not for recognition – but simply because it’s the right thing to do.

We created this film to move people to action.  The actions don’t have to be huge.  They could be helping a child with their homework, walking a neighbor’s dog who isn’t able to do that for herself or just listening to someone who needs a person to talk to.  We don’t have to be a celebrity, have a big name or have lots of money.  We just have to realize that sometimes it’s the little things we do that count and all those little things add up to make our world a better place.

Imagine if everyone did one small thing to make a difference.

I have been going to a lot of film festivals this past month and we’ve done quite well, winning Best Documentary at the Orlando Film Festival and Festival Theme Award at the Ojai Film Festival (theme was “Enriching the Human Spirit Through Film”).  While I am truly honored that the film has done so well at festivals, I need to remind myself that I did not make this film to garner accolades.

Erin and I made this film to create awareness and inspire and motivate others, as to what they can do to make our world a better place. That will only happen if we utilize the power of film and get it seen. Whether it is seen at film festivals, broadcast or online, our goal is to reach people everywhere. Our hope is that we can create a “shift” and get people to realize the power they have as an individual in making the world – the world they want to live in.

When I talk to people in the audience at film festivals, I can see that happening.  I hear it in their questions and comments.  I see it in their eyes.  But I always wish there were more people in the audience and more audiences to show it to and I get impatient waiting for it to “grow”.  I have faith that it will because I know we aren’t the only ones who are thinking about the future of our planet or looking for a little “more” in their own lives.

I’m encouraged by the people in our film like Maggie Doyne, Letha Sandison and Gina Low who stay committed to their cause.  I wish there were more people like them and maybe, just maybe someone will see our film and do something because of it.  That is how I can make a difference – by using my craft to create awareness.  So, please forgive me if I post too much on Facebook or send out too many emails about upcoming festivals. The film will only have the power to make a difference – if someone sees it.

I’m looking out at the beautiful coastline of Carmel-by-the-Sea, California and enjoying the “now. I’m here to attend the Carmel Art & Film Festival and after spending a couple of days in movie theaters,

Filmmaker party at the Carmel Art & Film Festival

I needed to take a break from the darkness and experience the environment I’m in.

The last few months, I’ve been busy and bogged down by lots of detail work and planning for the future and in the process, forgetting to be present in the here and now.  It’s far too easy sometimes for me to get caught up with the “big picture” and forget to take notice of where I am or even who I am. When that happens, I know I need to get out of my “norm” in order to take notice of who I really am.

As I walked through the village of Carmel my first evening in town, my visual sense was on overdrive as I passed by gallery after gallery. I was overwhelmed by the energy I got from seeing the colors, shapes and textures of the paintings and sculpture, through the shop windows. Art is everywhere in this small town.

Carmel has a vibe all of its own and this film festival reflected that in every way.  Last night was a filmmaker dinner and party on the beach.  It was a very memorable evening, sitting around fire pits on the beach, drinking wine, watching the sun go down and having wonderful conversations with other filmmakers and artists. I looked up at one point just to look at the millions of stars in the dark clear sky and I knew exactly where I was. These days many small towns have lost what is unique about them, swapping their identities for strip malls and corporate brands.  It’s no wonder; we can hold onto our own identities or even think about who we really are in our homogenized culture.

I think we all forget sometimes to stop and really be present in the place or situation we are in – instead of always thinking ahead – or worse yet lamenting the past. We get sidetracked sometimes by lots of things and people who have different priorities and agendas for you, and before we know it, we end up letting all that “stuff” take us away from our own purpose. When that happens, we aren’t happy and when we become unhappy, we make other people unhappy.

I feel grateful today.  Not only am I proud to be part of this amazing film festival but also I’m grateful that this beautiful little spot on Earth has fed my soul with inspiration.

It’s been a while since I have written – I’ve been going at full mach speed the last couple of weeks.  After not having been to a film festival

Upcoming festivals

since last March, we’ve recently had a rush of acceptances so I’ve been busy preparing for them, and now I’m on the road attending them. I’ve also been traveling and speaking for my trade association, ASMP – first to students at Brooks Institute, my alma mater, and then at DV West in Los Angeles.

Being on the road isn’t easy.  I’ve been gone for two weeks and I miss my husband and my home.  The getting from place to place is what wears me down.  But when I get to do what I came for, and that is to talk to people and more importantly listen to what they have to say, my weariness disappears. I get a lot of energy from the feedback I get about the film, but also from finding out about what others are involved in. I’m finding the niche for this film and in the process I’m starting to connect with kindred spirits.

Making connections, I realize is one of my main objectives. Those connections are starting a small ripple.  Audiences have gotten larger and that means more people are leaving the theaters and thinking about what they can do to make a difference in the lives of others – or even their own.  They tell me the film inspired them.  When they tell me that, I feel good about myself. Not so much because it puffs up my ego (although I’ll admit that also feels good) but because I realize this is what I do to make a difference – create awareness with film.

So, even though I’m totally exhausted from two weeks on the road – it’s an exhaustion that feels good.  I’m doing what I want to be doing – at least for right now.

I’ll be posting the screening dates as I get them from the festivals.  Please check to see if we’ll be in your area and spread the word to your friends.

It’s not easy to hold onto your ideals, let alone your dreams as you get older.  I suppose I should consider myself lucky in that regard, that I have managed to stay true to my ideals and I’m still foolish enough to believe in my dreams.  I wish more people my age had. Maybe we’d have a better world.

Dreaming is usually left up to the young, who can’t even imagine that their dreams wouldn’t come true.  Somehow when you get older, you give up on some of your dreams.  It seems like in our culture, we buy into the notion that with the responsibilities that come with age, there is no room for our dreams. I must tell you though, that I’ve always felt that if I couldn’t hold on to my own dreams – how could I ever teach my daughter how important that is, for a life well lived.

When my daughter Erin and I set out around the world together two years ago,  it was to film the stories of people who were doing extraordinary things.  These were all ordinary individuals who believed in the impossible.  The film was inspired by Erin’s high school friend, Maggie Doyne, who opted not to head straight off to college after graduation.  Maggie traveled and wound up in Nepal helping children, orphaned by ten years of civil war.  Seven years later, Maggie lives with her 40 children, in a home she built in Nepal, has built a primary school and is now raising money to build a high school.

Maggie is 25 years old with wisdom beyond her years and a youthful spirit to believe that anything is possible. She reminds me of myself when I was her age, although I pale in comparison to what she has done at such a young age.  I too traveled when I was just starting out in life.  I left college after two years and circled the globe to satisfy my curiosity. When I returned, I went back to school to study photography, graduated and set out to make my living at commercial photography.  My heart was in photojournalism and documentary photography, but everybody told me that I couldn’t make a living doing that kind of work – and I believed them.

Early on, I was looking for assistant work in NYC and I went to see legendary NY photographer, Jay Maisel.  I brought my perfectly executed commercial photography portfolio with me to get Jay’s advice.  For some reason, I also brought some “snapshots” that I had taken on my trip around the world, before I had gone to photography school.  Jay looked at my portfolio and tossed it back to me saying “this is crap”.  After seeing the shock on my face, he said, “this isn’t what you want to do, is it?” I showed him my snapshots and he said, “this is what you want to do – why aren’t you doing it?” I proceeded to tell him all the reasons that people had told me, and I was telling myself, why I wasn’t following the path I was passionate about.  He looked at me and he asked, “How old are you?”  I replied 25.  And he said, “You’re 25 and you’re already making compromises?”

There have been many days since then, when I have wanted to throw my hands up and give up on my ideals and dreams and then I remember that day with Maisel and I think about people like Maggie – and I manage to hold on.

This is a radio interview that Erin and I did

Gail Mooney and Erin Kelly Radio interview, SLOIFF

when we were out at our premiere at the  San Luis Obispo International Film Festival.  We were on Bill Benica’s local talk show “Talk is Cheap”.  It was a lot of fun and I’m happy that it was archived.

Nice memories.

Listen

Another year gone by – faster than the last. It’s a soft day, as I look out at a choppy sea and a sky that’s an ominous blue/black, keeping the crowds away from the beach.  It’s OK with me, I love this sort of weather, a welcome relief from the usual sweltering day that has defined many July 21sts over the years .  It’s the kind of day, it’s easy to get lost in thought and think about past birthdays.

I wish I could remember all of my birthdays, but there have been too many and too many years between them. There have been many memorable ones, that stand out in the recesses of my mind.  Here are a couple of them – in no particular order.

2005– I spent the day sitting on the edge of a cliff in

Machu Picchu

Machu Picchu, Peru with my husband and my daughter.  It was cold and rainy and yet I was so awed by the sight before me, I barely noticed the rain.  No words could ever describe the magnificence of the moment – not then or now.  It is a memory that has been indelibly burned into my mind’s eye.

1962 – Going to the  “air cooled” movie theater to cool off.  We saw Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation – a touching, funny family story with Jimmy Stewart, Maureen O’Hara, Fabion and others that somehow made an impression on me and has stayed with me all these years.

1969 – That was a big year for me.  I had just graduated from high school and turned 18 years old that summer.  They were supposed to land on the moon for the first time on my birthday, but they were a few hours early, marking July 20^th as that historic day, instead of my birthday.  I was quite annoyed, but forgot all about it a few weeks later when I went to The Atlantic City Pops Festival and then Woodstock later in August.  What a summer.

2010 –  Spending the day with Ronni Kahn of OzHarvest when Erin and I were making our journey around the world.  It was one of the most wonderful birthdays I have ever spent.  Ronni was truly inspirational and made a lasting impression on me.  Whenever, I stray off my purpose, I jump back to that day in my mind and I quickly get re-centered.

2011 – Last year’s birthday and a big one in many ways.  It was one of those milestone birthdays that ends in a 0, but for me it was the day we had our first “sneak preview” of our film at the beautiful State Theatre in Traverse City, .Michigan. I will never forget the feeling when I heard the first musical notes of Alive in the World as the red velvet curtain was raised on the screen.  It was a typical hot humid day when we left the theater – in fact that day it broke 100.  We headed out to Sleeping Bear Dunes National Seashore along Lake Michigan and when we returned to town and were walking by the theater, the usher who had helped us earlier that day said “It broke 100 today – that means that movies are free all day tomorrow”.  The end to a perfect day.