This photograph was taken when my daughter Erin and I were filming in a

small hill tribe village in the northern mountains of Thailand.  We were following Dr. David Mar Naw, as he trekked through the villages, a “one man band”, dispensing medical care and building latrines for Burmese refugees.  Some of them had never seen a doctor before. This lady was waiting to have her tooth pulled.

It was painful to watch as the doctor pulled this woman’s tooth, without anything to ease her pain. She was stoic and barely winced. Perhaps she was thinking about the relief she would have, after the tooth was removed.

These people humbled me, in fact I was humbled by all the people we met, along our journey around the world.  I will be forever grateful for that journey.  It opened my eyes to so many things and I am a better person because of it.

This is just one story that makes up the film, Opening Our Eyes, a documentary about the “power of one” and “making a difference” in the the world.

Most folks don’t realize that when Erin and I went around the world in pursuit of people creating positive change – we weren’t just shooting a movie – we also shot over 5000 still images.

When we planned our itinerary, traveling and shooting on six continents in the summer of 2010, we built in some  “free time” to see the sights.  It also acted as a buffer in case things didn’t go according to plan.  As it happened, everything did go according to plan and we had some wonderful down time in Moscow, Istanbul, Bangkok, Melbourne and Sydney, Australia and India.  We shot still images in all of these destinations in addition to the stills that we shot on the movie set, and ended up with a nice archive.

I’ve been editing this archive over the last year and am going to make them available for prints.  You can see the first gallery of images, and there will be more to follow over the next few months.  A print would make a beautiful Christmas gift for someone special.  If you order before Dec. 17^th – the prints will arrive before Christmas.

Happy Holiday.

Tom and I will be headed out tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn.  We’re bound for Chicago to spend Thanksgiving with our daughter Erin, her boyfriend Bryan and his family.  For me, it’s also a welcome road trip and a journey home to my birthplace. It’s funny how things have a way of coming full circle.  I was born in Chicago and left to head “East” with my parents and family when I was a young child.  But for someone like me, who has moved more than a dozen times in my lifetime – Chicago feels like home.  It’s where my roots are.

I’ve been a bit of a “rolling stone” over the years, but I’m also extremely grateful that I have been able to share many of life’s incredible experiences and travels with Erin and my husband Tom.  It’s been a gift,  to be able to combine my passions with my career and family.  This Thanksgiving I am mindful of my blessings and am most grateful for what I have.

One of the things I am most proud of is the creation of the film, Opening Our Eyes, that I made in collaboration with my daughter.  The journey in and of itself was rewarding, but I have found that sharing it  has not only inspired and motivated others to create positive change, it has also enriched my own life.

If you would like to see the film or share it with others over the holidays, we are now offering it online.  We are also offering a Thanksgiving special.

Click here and use the coupon code “THANKSGIVING2013”.

The journey is over and the memories have begun to fade.  But the legacy lives on in the film my daughter and I created, when we set out some 3 years ago seeking individuals who were making our world a better place. And indeed, we found many people – ordinary people who were doing extraordinary things. And every one of these people had one thing in common – they had found their purpose in helping others.  The more they gave – the more they got back in return.  But none of them “gave” with the idea of getting something in return. It wasn’t about getting money, favors, recognition, or other ego related pursuits, it was about caring for their “fellow man”.

I think that the biggest reward for me in making this film, was sharing that experience with my daughter.  She was fortunate to have been born and raised in a beautiful and privileged part of the world and I wanted her to have a greater global perspective.  It’s almost impossible to “care” for your “fellow man” when if you don’t have an understanding of who they really are.  We all hear about conflict and our “differences” that seem to keep our world divided, but for many of us it’s too distant and outside our consciousness and the confines of our own daily reality.

The truth is the world seems like it’s gotten a whole lot smaller since I was my daughter’s age.  It’s amazing how technology has connected us all.  What’s even more amazing is the “reach” each one of us has. It’s not very difficult for “one person” to get their message out these days – globally – and instantaneously.  Think of the power in that.  I realized that first hand with this film and how it has connected people all over the world. I am grateful that I live in an age, when I am able to use my craft, to spread the message about the power each one of us has in making a positive difference in our world – the  “power of one”.

But it starts with each one of us, in our own communities and with the people we have relationships with.  We can all be a little more thoughtful of how we treat the people we know – that is if we can get outside our own egos. It may be as simple as stopping ourselves before we say something, or do something that could affect someone negatively and ask, “how would I feel if I was on the receiving end?” It’s the little things that we all do and say, that can affect someone, either positively or negatively and that in turn goes on to affect more people and it starts to ripple through “community” and beyond.

I think we all need a reminder from time to time that it serves no purpose to dismiss or treat anyone with disregard, anger or contempt. It only serves to make us bitter inside.  I have learned that lesson more than once in my life. The older I get, the more I realize that I’d rather harbor thoughts of love, kindness and forgiveness than hold onto negative ones.  Ultimately, life’s too short to focus on the negative.

We each have our own perspective and we each get to choose the lens we see “life” through. I choose a lens of love, respect and caring.  I haven’t always chosen that lens and no doubt there will be times in my life, going forward, when I will falter and start seeing life through the wrong lens.  Please, let me know when I do.

For those of you who have been asking when Opening Our Eyes will be available – it has been released on DVD and VOD.

Sundays have always had a special feel to me.  When I was a kid, Sundays were different.  Most of the stores were closed so you couldn’t “go shopping”. I remember we had to plan ahead and get whatever we needed before Sunday came around. It was a day we went to church in the morning and always had dinner together –  as a family.  We often visited my Dad’s family, but other than that we didn’t do much of anything, but we did it as a family. Those were my earliest memories of what a Sunday was.

As the years went by, and my immediate family moved 700 miles away from our roots, our Sunday gatherings got a bit smaller, but nevertheless Sundays still had a special feel. It was considered to be a family day. We didn’t do too much on Sundays, rarely planning anything organized, but we did “nothing” together – as a family.  Sunday was the day that we all took time to breathe.

As my siblings and I got older and started our own families, the gatherings got larger again.  But life also became more hectic and we all tried to manage and coordinate our busy lives.  The times had changed, and with that came lots of organized activities and other distractions.  But somehow we managed to find time on some Sundays to get together as a family.

Nowadays, family gatherings are more infrequent as miles have separated us.  But Sundays still have a special feeling.  It’s still a day when I don’t set my alarm and I get my day started a little later.  And I take the time to breathe.

I think what’s important, is that we remind ourselves to set aside time to enjoy and be grateful for what and who we have in our lives, regardless of which day of the week it is. When I was growing up, Sundays were always set aside for that.  I suppose that’s why I have always loved Sundays.

The best part about creating the documentary, Opening Our Eyes, was getting to be around some of the most amazing, inspirational people I’ve ever met in my life.  So many things that these folks said during their interviews, still run through my mind on a daily basis.

Showing Maggie the first “cut”.

One thing in particular was something that Maggie Doyne said when she was talking about what she built in Nepal “It’s not perfect.  If I had waited for things to be perfect, none of this would have happened.”

I work and live with a perfectionist, my husband and my business partner.  We are opposites in every way.  I am one to take my “big idea” and jump right into it.  I’m also one who wants to complete something and follow through right away, regardless if it’s “perfect” or not.  For example:  I could have/should have gotten this film professionally color graded before I sent it out to festivals and distributors. But, I didn’t have the funds to do that, so rather than let the film “get old” until I could get more funding (which may not have happened), I pushed it out to the universe, and good things have happened.

It’s good to be detail oriented and to strive for perfection, but not if you use it to give yourself reasons to stop yourself from moving forward.  Many times, when I tell my husband my latest “big idea”, his first instincts are to tell me dozens of reasons I shouldn’t act on it until……………everything is perfect.  His intentions are good – he wants to protect me from failure, but if I let it, his words might also end up protecting me from success.

We both recognize our differences now as our individual strengths and that when we listen, learn and balance those opinions and differences so that they can work together instead of opposed to each other, great things can happen.  But that takes practice and also not having to be right all the time.  There is no one “right” and that’s the beauty of collaboration and working in harmony.

I think sometimes we kid ourselves when we don’t recognize that certain things we do or say are mild forms of discrimination.  There’s the occasional “soccer mom” comment that’s not intended to marginalize women or the references about “those people”.  Many times the worst offenders are the ones who aren’t even aware they do discriminate.

I’ve spent my life and career as a woman in a man’s business.  I’ve heard all the remarks that I care to hear and the bias that comes with it.  Things have certainly improved over the last 35 years but now I’m facing a different sort of discrimination and that is the prevalent disregard for someone who is “old”.

When people equate youth,  (defined by age) as someone who has new or fresh ideas and old as someone who is set in their ways and stagnant, that is a form of discrimination.  In America we have become obsessed with youth and looks to the point that we don’t value anyone over 40.  We not only don’t think this generation of aging baby boomers is relevant or has value, but we seem to be angry that they should have a right to things like social security or pensions or even a job. We want them just to go away and become invisible.  We are a culture that places importance on the “packaging and the fizz”.

The fact of the matter is that age really has nothing to do with wisdom at all.  Just because you get older doesn’t mean you necessarily get wiser.  And just because you’re younger doesn’t mean you’re someone with forward thinking ideas. I’ve met a lot of older people who aren’t wise at all and I’ve met people half my age that couldn’t come up with a fresh thought if their life depended on it.

Age isn’t a barometer for how you process ideas.  Look at people like Clint Eastwood – he did his best and most creative work after he turned 65.  (I’ll forgive him for the chair incident.)  I’d like to think that one of the best things that came out of this project that I did with my daughter was that we both had a much better understanding of who were as people.  I wasn’t just her “old” mom who didn’t know anything and she wasn’t just my “kid” who didn’t know anything.

So next time you find yourself equating age with how someone thinks – step back and recognize that subtle discrimination and ask yourself if you would  like to be on the receiving end of that?

“This could be one of those rare moments in life when you can go back in your past and make things right for your future.”

I was in NYC last night and I saw this sign in a shop window.  It wasn’t a big sign, but nevertheless it caught my eye and stopped me in my tracks.  It was the second time this week that I had seen that very same phrase written.  How odd and what an uncanny coincidence to see these same words written in two totally random places, in the same week. I thought, “if only it were true”.

It’s not possible to change the past of course, but I started thinking about it and what I would change, if I could.  There were lots of things that came to mind immediately, that in hindsight I might have done differently.  But when I really started thinking of things that I’ve done in the past, in terms of what I would change to “make things right for my future”, there were only a couple of changes I would make.

The fact is that even the things that I wish I could change the most, probably had to happen for one reason or another in order to have a brighter future.  We can’t change the past, but we can learn from it.

One thing I love about the New Year is that it gives me a feeling of renewed hope and that we all have a fresh start to “get it right” in the coming year.  I’m not one to make grandiose resolutions because they leave me feeling like a big loser weeks later if or when I falter.  I’d rather simply focus on each new day and be the best I can be.

I am not perfect and I never will be.  I am a work in progress and each day, week, month and year I strive to be true to who I am and not let others deter me from my purpose. I will try to remember that no one can really change the past but we can let go of it.  But “letting go” is not trying to erase the past.  Attempting to do that really only harbors negative energy inside.  The very act of trying to repress or block something from your past is in fact the opposite of “letting go”. To really “let go” is to be able to forgive yourself (or others) from past mistakes, and move forward in a positive way. I try to embrace each new day, and give it and everyone I know the opportunity to “make things right for the future”. I can only hope that others will do the same. Imagine the power in that thought.

Be kind, be loving, and focus on the best in others – not the worst, because isn’t that what you’d like others to do for you?  When you start to live life this way, you’ll probably never even have the desire to want to go back and change your past.

Once again, I try to make sense of another senseless act of violence – this time one that snuffed out the lives of 20 innocent children.  Every time there is another tragedy caused by guns, we question our firearms laws and vow to do something about the “problem”.  The usual discussion takes place with lots of talk on both sides of the issue and then dissipates – until the next tragedy.

I think the “problem” goes beyond the discussion of a “right to bear arms”.  I think it speaks to a greater problem and that is how we deal with our fellow man.

Maggie Doyne and some of her children at the Kopila Valley Children’s Home in Surkhet, Nepal

Too often we judge others without knowing much about their circumstances.  Too often we seek to be understood but don’t place importance on seeking to understand someone else.  I think this happens when we become too insular – when we don’t allow ourselves to become in tune to the rest of the world or even our own communities.

Some simple thoughts on how we can become more compassionate:

• Seek to understand – not just to be understood.  I wish I had a dollar every time someone said to me “my point is…….” – I would be rich.  Every time you are tempted to make “your” point – also make an attempt to understand someone else’s.
• Learn to forgive – Human beings are far from perfect.  They do things and say things they usually wish they hadn’t.  When we forgive others for the hurt they’ve done to us, we free ourselves from the pain as well.  When we don’t forgive, we keep the negativity inside. It ends up consuming us.  Try forgiveness instead.
• Don’t judge others – There’s an old saying “people who live in glass houses, shouldn’t throw rocks”.  Don’t judge others unless you want to be judged by them.
• Don’t bully – There are many ways people bully – it’s not always overt.  Bullying really means forcing your way on someone else.  When you ignore someone, you are being just as much of a bully as someone who is more aggressive.  Essentially, you are no different in how you go about “getting your way”.
• Treat people how you would like to be treated.  Stop and think before you speak and act. Would you like to be treated that way. I’ve never liked cliques for this reason.  There’s always an exclusionary aspect to a clique.  There’s always judgments being made about who should and shouldn’t belong.
• Do things for someone without the expectation of return.  The rewards of giving are just that – the act of giving itself is the biggest reward you give yourself. When you do something and expect something in return and it doesn’t happen – it takes away the joy of giving.
• How many times have you told yourself that you will be more caring and giving?  And how many times do you let that thought slip into oblivion without acting on it. Next time you say that – follow through.
• Every simple act of kindness adds up.  Imagine if we all did something kind for someone every day. Just imagine.
• Look past the someone’s exterior.  It’s hard sometimes to look past the actions of someone.  We end up questioning and taking things personally when in fact many times someone’s actions have nothing to do with us
• Live a compassionate life and teach your children through your actions what that means.  It starts there. Showing compassion is one of the best ways to make our world a better place. You will set an example for your children and they will pass that along to future generations.

What are other ways we can be compassionate?

“Compassion and happiness are not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength.” ~Dalai Lama

A couple of months ago, I was one of the trip leaders for a group of high school exchange students traveling to Colorado. These students are here for the year and had arrived in early fall. They were placed with host families all over the country, but they had decided to go on one of the trips that CCI Greenheart, their exchange sponsor organization (and where I work), offers throughout the year. The trips are a mix of fun activities and volunteering, where they can learn about community service and meet other exchange students from around the globe. This particular trip was to Snow Mountain Ranch in Granby, CO, up in the mountains outside of Denver. And I was lucky enough to be selected as one of the people to lead the trip.

Every day was packed with activities. Each morning we would hike up into the mountains to take in the beautiful scenery, and after lunch we would do a volunteer project or other fun activity like zip lining. In the evenings, we would have workshops where we would talk about what it means to be a volunteer and how we can get involved in our communities.

One of the nights, we showed the film. This was a new experience for me, as I had not yet been present for a screening of the film to such a young audience.  I realized, as I sat there watching with the students, that this was one of our target audiences. These were the types of people that we most wanted to reach – the young people who have the energy, optimism and lives ahead of them to create their own path and make a difference in what they’re passionate about. Not only that, but they were also an international audience. They represented 9 different countries, 9 different places where they could spread the messages of the film. I felt a little nervous as I waited for the film to end, anxious to hear their comments.

After the film ended, we sat in a circle and I asked some discussion questions. What traits did the subjects share? What were some of the challenges they faced and how did they overcome them? What was the role of the volunteer in some of these stories and how much did the subjects depend on them? They had some good answers, but it wasn’t until I asked each of them to say two words about how the film made them feel that the best thoughts were shared. Here are some of my favorites:

“I would say ambitious and proud. I’m proud of just knowing that people in the world are doing things like that.” – Yumna (Morocco)

 “It makes me feel like I have the right ideas.” – Oleksandra (Ukraine)

“Thoughtful because it makes me think about it, and also have motivation and courage to start something. If people like that can do it, why can’t I? I mean, anyone can do it if you have the courage.” – Maxime (Switzerland)

“Kind of amazed because you don’t really see that around my area and it kind of makes me think about my future and things that I can do, and I want to do something.” – Lorraine (Upstate NY)

“Hopeful and unbelievable. You just live only once.” – Gulzhan (Kazakhstan)

It was an honor to show the film to such a bright group of motivated people from around the world, ready to make a difference. That is what it’s all about.