Opening Our Eyes

This day, that is supposedly about “love” has actually lost the meaning of that word in all the hype and commerce that has attached itself to it.   In fact, I’d have to say that this particular day does more in the way of making people feel unloved than loved.

I suppose my feelings about Valentines Day started very early on when I was still in grade school.  Every year, no matter which school I was attending, ( I moved a lot when I was younger) the teacher would set aside some time for the students to make and trade valentines.  First we needed to make a box where our classmates could deposit their tokens of affection.  Being the creative type, I would take an ordinary shoebox and turn it into a work of art.  My classmates and I would either buy or make our valentines and then place them into each other’s elaborate or not so elaborate containers.

The day would finally arrive and we would all open up our boxes and dump our valentines out onto our desks.  Sadly, most years my box contained only a handful of cards, even though I always had at least 50 kids in my classroom! That’s the way it was back then. But I was the perpetual “new kid” because my family moved a lot.  And so,  that took it’s toll on Valentines Day because I  usually wasn’t on my classmates’ radar.

I look at the day now as an adult and I see that it still causes a lot of misplaced expectations on our loved ones, and worse yet, makes some of us feel like a total unloved misfit, if we don’t have a significant other or aren’t on the receiving end of someone’s affections.  All this angst created by a day that has turned love into commerce.

I decided to write about this today because I’m reflecting on pivotal moments in my life when I really felt true love – unconditional love.  One day in particular was the day after my daughter was born.  I held her in my arms and I felt a love that I had never known before.  I know that any parent reading this understands what I mean.  Love should always be unconditional.  We only truly “love” someone, when we love in that way – unconditionally. That only happens when we are able to think beyond ourselves.  When we love someone, regardless of what they’ve said or done in anger or sadness, we begin to know what love really is.  But we have to see past ourselves to get to that place.

Ronni Kahn, one of the subjects in our film said:  “Do something for the sake of doing – not for the money – not for the recognition – but just for the sake of doing”.  I think she was defining what true love really is.  If we can abandon our expectations of what we want or expect in return from our loved ones – then that’s when we really care about that person and really love them. It’s hard to do, because you have to let go of your ego and how you feel.  But when you truly love someone, you forgive their frailties and missteps and love them for who they are.

Forget the flowers, candy and cards today.  Reach out to someone who needs some love or maybe just needs a bit of attention.  Think beyond yourself.  When you do that, you will understand the real meaning of the word “love”.

Over a year ago, in October 2010, just a month after we had returned from our three-month journey to make the film, I wrote a blog about my new job that I had started just a few weeks before:

“I started a new job this month at the Center for Cultural Interchange – a nonprofit organization that facilitates cultural exchange programs for young people, mainly for high school students. I work in the Academic Year Programs department, which works with inbound foreign high school students coming to study and live in the U.S. You might think: “Wow! That job sounds perfect for you and makes so much sense, given your experience this summer.” And I would reply: “You’re right!” I’m very excited to be working there, and I feel fortunate that I am able to work in a field that I actually care about. I believe that it’s so important for everyone to have some kind of experience abroad, especially for young people, for it is through cultural exchange that we can learn to understand and respect others and ourselves. That is certainly something that I learned this summer.”

If you told me the same thing now, I would reply in the exact same way. In fact, I would have even more great things to say because I have learned so much about CCI (Center for Cultural Interchange) and all of its fantastic programs over the past 15 months. In addition to the Academic Year Program, which brings hundreds of international high school students to the U.S. each year to live with host families, attend school and participate in great cultural exchanges, CCI also brings university students to work, travel and have an internship in the U.S. through the Work Programs department. The Short-Term Programs department also offers a myriad of options for young people to participate in language clubs, direct school exchanges or stay with American host families for shorter periods of time.

Just as it’s important to bring international students here, so they can experience life in the U.S., it’s equally important to provide those opportunities to American students and send them abroad to learn about other cultures. CCI’s Greenheart Travel department provides such an opportunity, with programs for American citizens to teach abroad, volunteer abroad and attend high school abroad. Maggie Doyne is a perfect example of how someone could benefit from such a program – from her experience traveling and volunteering after high school, she was inspired to make a difference in Nepal and started the Kopila Valley Children’s Home.

Volunteering and giving back to one’s community is an important part of CCI’s mission as well through its Greenheart initiative. CCI is known as the “Greenheart of Cultural Exchange” because each of its programs offers all of its participants grants and support to do environmental and social volunteering while abroad. CCI encourages participants to collaborate with their new host community and work on projects to make positive change in a sustainable way. These experiences not only enhance the participant’s program, but also help make a difference in communities around the world.

We are very proud to announce CCI and Greenheart as a sponsor of Opening Our Eyes. We feel that their mission is perfectly aligned with the project and we look forward to future collaboration in promoting the importance of cultural exchange and how one person can make a positive difference in the world.

I was catching up with a filmmaker friend yesterday and he told me that he was going to be working on a pro bono piece for a non-profit charity in his area.  I was delighted to hear that because it was just one small sign that maybe – just maybe this idea of “making a difference” is catching on.

To be honest, there may have been a time in my life where I would have been protective of my creative ideas to a fault – but not any more and certainly not in terms of the focus of this film.  What would be the point anyway?  First of all this film was meant to motivate others to “do something” – anything really that could make our world a better place.  And secondly – it really has no bearing on what I am doing – meaning whether or not I will succeed or fail if they do.  I realize that someone does not need to lose in order for me to win and vice versa.  In fact I’m of the mind that we are all more powerful when we partner and collaborate with one another toward the same end – especially when it comes to sustaining our planet.

It has amused me from time to time when I have seen people click the “unlike” or  “dislike” button on this blog or other stories that I have posted on my Facebook Fan Page. Why on earth would someone dislike a story about a 14-year-old girl’s efforts in tutoring others at her school?  I wonder sometimes why someone even wants to use their energy in such a negative way and if that in fact brings them pleasure – especially when it is affixed to something that is positive.  Quite honestly I don’t check analytics much because I try not to let others negativity or negative opinions of who I am or what I am doing – determine my worth. Most times it’s merely a reflection of who they are or what they are dealing with in their own life. And so I do my best to understand.

But the simple fact is I’m just another human being – no better or worse than anyone else. I’m no saint – that’s for sure. I’m a passionate person and that is sure to rub people the wrong way. In fact there are times when I wish I could take a vacation from myself.  I am only human, with my own frailties. While it may sometimes seem like I’m fearless and that everything always goes my way – I can assure you that there have been many sleepless nights where I lie awake playing out all kinds of scenarios in my head that are fraught with peril.

And so these days, I try to accept who I am, and be mindful of how I may affect some people and try to look for the beauty in others instead of the bad.  There have been plenty of times I may have chosen to see only the negative side of things and have hurt others in the process but that has only brought more pain in my own life. So if I come across as an obnoxious goody goody at times – it’s because I try to be more compassionate of my fellow man.  Do I always succeed? No, I am not perfect.  I try to learn from past mistakes and do better the next time.

So please steal this idea  – of seeing the good in people – and try to be a better person yourself. Think beyond yourself and your own inner circle of family and friends and go out and make a positive difference in someone else’s life.  Imagine if more of us thought like that?  And it just might bring more gratification in your own life  – than hitting the “dislike” button.

I saw the movie “I Am” last night.  I had been wanting to see it for some time because someone had told me that it carried the same message as Opening Our Eyes.  In fact, in one of the interviews in the film, a subject states numerous times the phrase “the power of one” – the power each one of us has in their actions and their thoughts.

The documentary, written and narrated by Tom Shadyac, Hollywood director known for movies like Ace Ventura and Liar Liar, questions “what’s wrong with our world?” Are aggression and competition really the natural order or is there a better way? Are we happier when we win?  Are we happier when we have more?  Does it make us feel better to beat out the other guy?

The film goes on to show that what humans really need is to connect with other humans and be loved.  Everything on our planet is connected through energy and the human mind plays a powerful force in either working toward a collective goal of harmony or selfish isolation. And that each one of us has a huge impact through our small actions that make our world what it is and how we interact with one another.

No doubt many will see this film as an idealistic quest for utopia.  They’ll cry  – it’s an unattainable dream because there will always be the opportunists who will seize control for their own gain.  Perhaps they may be right, but does that mean that we should stop caring for our fellow man and striving for  a better future for our planet? I spent the most rewarding summer of my life last year, around people who were living a fulfilling life by making a difference in the lives of others.  They lived rich lives of peace and contentment.

Some of us go to a church, synagogue, mosque or some other place of worship for an hour or two each week and feel good doing it.  But then we spend the rest of our week, interacting with people in all sorts of ways contrary to the preachings that we had taken to heart just a few days prior.  Sometimes, I think religions do more harm than good as far as “connecting” humans, by creating congregations that are too insular at the exclusion and detriment of others. Ultimately, this never breeds good will and will never lead to utopia.

In the film, the question is asked “who is responsible for what’s wrong with world?” One person replies “I am.”  I can echo that and say I am responsible too.  Every little thing I do can make a difference one way or another in someone else’s life. I try to remind myself of that daily in my dealings with people. I have found that when I love fully, without any expectations in return, I am at peace and only then can I be loved.

It’s hard to believe that it has been 25 years, today, since you were born.  My life changed that day I became your mother, in thousands of meaningful ways.  I cannot have imagined how life would have been without you in it.

I’m sure every parent reading this understands how profoundly life changes when they become a parent – and for the good.  The biggest change for me is that I became less selfish.  I had to consider that my actions not only affected just me anymore.  Of course couples should think like that anyway if they want to have a good relationship – but it’s a different type of selfless care when it comes to your child.

Today is another milestone.  It was two years ago that we started our journey together as far as this project.  We officially launched the Opening Our Eyes blog on Jan. 5, 2010.  Five months later we embarked on our travels around the world.  We not only completed the journey – we have completed a film.  A film that I hope will inspire others to do whatever small acts – or large acts – they can that can make our planet a better place.
It seems fitting that at midnight tonight our campaign on IndieGoGo is over – bringing this blog and project full circle.

I never would have imagined 25 years ago that we would have experienced such a wonderful and amazing project together.  But we did and we will have that connection for an eternity.  But to be honest, I value every other little moments in our lives that we’ve spent together just as priceless.

Happy Birthday

I tend to be a person who is always looking ahead, rather than looking back, but sometimes you can gain a lot of perspective by looking back and that can be critical for moving forward.  Chris Guillebeau writes an annual review in his blog  The Art of Non-Conformity and he suggests we do the same.  It’s a yearly assessment of how you feel your past year has been – noting both your accomplishments as well as your low points.  It helps you mentally prepare for how you want to live your life in the coming year.

Sometimes looking forward can seem overwhelming.  But when I look back at what I’ve accomplished, I get the confidence I need to move ahead. With that said, here’s a recap of 2011 for Opening Our Eyes:

• Completed the film – That in itself was a triumph of accomplishment, but it took its toll.  Doing the rough edit consumed most of my winter.  I needed to cull through over 150 hours of footage, transcode it, add metadata, sort out the chaff, look at the b-roll and cut down the interviews to a 3 hour timeline.  It was grueling for me – 14 hour days – 7 days a week for almost 2 months but somehow I got through it  When spring arrived I handed the entire project to my editor, Erik Freeland who did a masterful job of editing the film.  We worked together, discussing the particular stories within the film and Erik brought those stories alive with how he cut them together. The first cut of the film was finished in July.

• We were extremely fortunate to have gotten permission to use one of Jackson Browne’s song, Alive in the World for festival and community screenings.  Our executive producer, Angel Burns who came on board this year, made that happen – making another dream come true.  Jackson’s music and his social activism has always been an inspiration to me. I was able to personally thank him after seeing him in concert this fall.

• Another beautiful person came into in my life, randomly.  Her name is Joyelle Brandt, she’s a singer, songwriter and an amazing artist.  Joyelle wrote a song called “One“.  She wrote to me on Facebook and told me about her song and how it delivered the same message as our film and that she would be happy to let us use the song in the film.  We did – it opens up the film and it’s like Joyelle wrote it specifically for the film.  We can’t thank you enough,  Joyelle.

• Music is such a critical component of every film  – it is the emotional component and defines the moods and the pacing of the movie. Dominic Brook a hip hop artist from Australian not only appears in the film during the Oasis story, but sets the tone with his music throughout that segment.  Dominic is a kindred spirit in wanting to make a difference. He started Musicians Making a Difference and  has helped a lot of young people find themselves through music.

• We were also fortunate to have digital artist Allan Davey come into our lives and design our beautiful “one sheet” as well as our DVD packaging.  Allan’s poster told the story of the film beautifully and really raised the bar as far as our “look.” We could never thank him enough for his talents.

• Crowdfunding – About this time last year we were winding down our Kickstarter campaign.  We had about a week to go and I remember stressing if we would reach our goal of $7500.  With Kickstarter, if you don’t reach your goal – you get nothing so it was a very stressful time.  We ended up making our goal on Jan. 5, 2011.  Actually, we exceeded our goal and raised a little over $10,000.  I was able to pay my editor (who deserved much more) and give a bit to the subjects in the film.  Thanks to all our supporters we were able to finish the post production of our film, and that is huge.

• We aren’t doing as well with our second campaign on IndieGoGo.  We still have a few days to go but we only realized 20% of our goal.  With IndieGoGo, you get whatever you have raised, regardless if you make your goal.  Maybe, our goal was unrealistic.  Maybe it’s harder to raise money for outreach, PR and distribution, but that’s probably the most critical part in filmmaking – to get the film seen.  But every dollar helps us defray the costs of pushing this out there and we are very grateful to all of our continued supporters.

• Apart from the crowdfunding, the San Francisco Film Society is now our fiscal sponsor, so that means that we can accept tax deductible donations via their 501c3 status. That will also allow us to be eligible for some grants.  Does anyone know a good grantwriter who would like to come onboard?

• Festivals – We have been invited to the San Luis Obispo Film Festival in early March and Cal Poly is our sponsor.  I’m looking forward to the festival and hope that our whole team will be able to be there as well. I did not get into Sundance or Slamdance.  Sundance had over 11,000 submissions and will be showing only 11 documentaries.  But I have printed out my “rejection email” as a reminder that I tried.  I will proudly join the other 99% who tried but didn’t make the cut.
  I hope there will be more invitations.  We shall see, but regardless of festival invitations, the power of this film will be in community screenings.

• Sneak Previews – My dream came true when I saw this film on the “big screen” at the State Theater in Traverse City, Michigan.  It truly was a fantasy come true, to stand there with Erin and watch as they hand placed each letter of our names on the marquee that hot July night.  What made it even more special was to watch the film in such a beautiful venue with a lot of my family and friends in the audience.  My family made that one of the most memorable days of my life.  It was a day of sharing and connecting where all the circles came together.  I’ve had a couple other private screenings, and some have been with Erin which is great.  It’s always interesting to get live feedback.  Last month I showed the film to young Brazilians in Sao Paulo.  It was the first time that I got feedback from a non-American audience.  It was very well received and it confirmed in my mind that not only this film has a global reach, but that it really resonated with this “20 something” demographic.  That gives me great hope for the future.

• Talks
  I’ve had quite a few speaking engagements this year but I think the one that stands out is the TEDx talk I did this month in Sao Paulo, Brazil.  It was an honor to be invited and I met some amazing young Brazilians who are doing some interesting things in their lives.  They are looking at the world through a different lens and to listen to them throughout the day was incredibly energizing.

• PACA – I had a great time speaking at the Picture Archive Council of America.  I talked about the making of this film with a small crew and budget.  I talked about the possibilities for distribution in this day and age.  The ASPP American Society of Picture Professionals,  sponsored my talk and they may bring this talk to their chapters in 2012.

• Grateful for our followers
  Without the support of our family, friends and virtual friends from all over the world – this would never have been possible.  Every time any one of you has commented or written an email – it has given us the energy and encouragement that we needed to keep going.  You have no idea how meaningful all of your comments have been. They’ve certainly helped me through some of the toughest times.

Going forward in 2012 – well that’s a whole other blog post.  But I do know that I need to devote more time to my business.  There are so many things I wish to do and only so many hours in the day.  But it helped to sort it out in my head, and in writing this recap. I realize that even though it seems like there’s so much to do – look how much we’ve done.

The last Christmas I spent with my mother was the Christmas of 2003. I didn’t know that would be our last Christmas together. She died very suddenly, less than two months later. I often wonder if I had known that Christmas was to be the last one that I’d spend with my mother, if I would have asked her the questions that I always wanted to ask. One thing I do remember about that Christmas was a moment during the evening when I caught a look in my mother’s face that I had seen before – a distant look where I felt as if she was somewhere else.

After my mother’s death, I learned a great deal about my mother – things I would have loved to have talked to her about. I was a perceptive and curious child, and there were always questions that I wanted to ask her, but I never did. I don’t know why. I could say that there was “never the right time” but I’ve grown to hate that expression or should I say excuse. I guess I was just too afraid.

I would not have been able to take the journey around the world with my daughter Erin and make this film if it hadn’t been for my mother. That’s why the name of the production company is Nola Productions, Nola was my mother’s name. When she died, she left me a bit of money and that helped finance Opening Our Eyes. That and airline miles, hotel points, crowd-funding and lots of help from my friends. But my mother gave me something even more important than money, that made this film happen. She gave me, belief in myself and compassion for others. If it hadn’t have been for my mom, I wouldn’t have had the desire to make a film that delivers the message, that we can all make a difference in how we choose to live our lives. And she always told me to believe in myself and my dreams and that anything was possible.

If you were to ask me (and many have) what was the best part of the trip – I’d would tell you that ii was spending time with my daughter. We not only explored the world together – we got to know each other as people – beyond the mother/daughter relationship. We’ll both remember the amazing places we went to and the extraordinary people that we met, but I think the memories that will linger the longest will be the conversations that we had along the way. We both asked the questions that we had been wanting to ask and shared the stories that we needed to share. Ultimately we “took the time” to get to know one another.

When I tell women about this trip and what I did with my daughter – they always say one of two things – or both – “Oh I would love to do that with my daughter” or “ I wish I had gotten to know my mother better”. I’m grateful that I had this time with my daughter and I know my mom was with us all the way. We couldn’t have done it without her.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone.

Last spring, my daughter and I set out to circle the globe on a 99-day journey, seeking people who were making a difference in the world.  A little more than a year later, we have completed a feature documentary about ordinary people on six continents who have not only had a positive impact on others, but they have had life changing experiences themselves.

This journey and the film were inspired by a

Maggie Doyne with her children at Kopila Valley Childrens Home, Nepal

young woman that my daughter had gone to high school with, Maggie Doyne,  At 19-years old, Maggie opted not to go straight off to college, but instead traveled on what was intended to be a gap year between high school and college.  Five years later, at the age of 24, she has built a home in Nepal for 35 orphaned children, where she now resides and had recently finished construction on a primary school for 250 children when we visited her last summer..

Maggie has caught the attention of quite a few high profile people who have helped her in her mission.  Last fall she appeared on the cover of the NY Times Magazine illustrating an article by Nicholas Kristof about DIY foreign aid.  She’s a remarkable young woman.  But what is often overlooked when one mentions Maggie’s accomplishments is that she herself, has changed her life’s path – before barely beginning.

Maggie is just one of eleven people that appear in our film, Opening Our Eyes.  As we traveled the world, my daughter and I quickly realized that all of these extraordinary people had one thing in common, beyond doing good for others.  They all had disrupted their own lives and had shifted course.  They had discovered their purpose and in the process, found their bliss.

Maggie is fortunate that she made this discovery while she was still young.  In a less dramatic way, I had my own awakening early in my career.  In the late 70’s, I had just finished studying photography at Brooks Institute in Santa Barbara, California and I headed back East to pursue a career as a photojournalist. It was not the best of times to be starting out as a photojournalist, at least in terms of being able to make a decent living.  So, I took a bit of a detour and pursued commercial photography instead.  While making the rounds with my portfolio in NYC, I went to see legendary photographer Jay Maisel. Jay was known for his blunt demeanor, and when he looked at my perfectly presented photographic portfolio, he tossed it at me and told me it was garbage.  He asked me if I had anything else to show him.  I took out my dog-eared photos from my first world journey that I had taken before heading to Brooks. As he looked through my “snapshots” he asked me how old I was.  I replied that I was 25 years old.  He looked me straight in the eye and said, “You’re 25 and you’re already making compromises?” That was a turning point in my life and I never looked back from pursuing my passion.

I suppose Maggie and I are lucky in that we discovered our purpose at such a young age.  But in making this film I learned one important thing – it’s never too late to find your bliss.

I gave a TEDx talk in Sao Paulo, Brazil last week, which was an energizing experience on many levels. I also had the opportunity to screen the film for a non-US audience for the first time.  This has always been a very “global” project by the very nature that I’ts comprised of 11 stories on six continents. But it was the first time that I received a more “global” perspective and feedback on the film.

One young man from the audience asked a great question that had never been asked before in previous Q & A sessions.  He asked me if making this film had changed my life.  My answer was “yes, and it continues to change my life in many ways”.

Even though this was the first time anyone has asked me this question,

Maggie Doyne, Kopila Valley Children's Home, Nepal

I think about how my life has changed all the time.  Perhaps the biggest change was for me to really recognize what’s important and what’s not. I’ve come to realize that the thing that’s most important to me is for me to live my life doing the right thing.  By that I mean, recognizing the fact that while it may seem to get me a little further ahead, by beating out the “other guy” or their agendas – it really doesn’t.  Just because someone else “loses” doesn’t necessarily mean that I win.

When I returned to the US after being away for almost four months, I was struck by how we were behaving as a society.  It seemed to me like we were spending more time and energy focusing on how to stop “the other guy” than we were on focusing on what we wanted and what we can do. So for me, after spending four months with people who were living their lives according to their own doctrine and happy because of it, I decided to shift my way of thinking. I’m now much more focused on what I can achieve while doing the right thing without the detriment to others.  Perhaps if we all thought like that, everybody would win. Nowadays it seems like there are too many losers in our collective society.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been over a year since Erin and I returned from our round the world adventure, and I am very aware and grateful of how the making of this film has changed my life. I’d like to think that it has made me a better person.

I never fully realized the power that is within me to make a difference, until recently.  Last summer, my daughter and I spent time with extraordinary people who were providing homes for orphans, feeding the hungry and curing the ill.  They were all people we met while making a documentary about the change makers in our world – people who are making our planet a better place.

Our goal was to inspire and motivate others as to what they can do to make a difference in their own communities. Our goal was to cause a shift, in culture and in thought – from “what in it for me?” to “what can I do?” We’ve just begun to submit this documentary to film festivals and show sneak previews to small audiences but I can already tell that this film has affected change and the potential it has to move people to action.

From our first sneak preview at the beautiful State Theater in Traverse City, MI to a recent screening at MIS in Sao Paulo, Brazil, I feel the energy in the room and the collective desire to strive for a better world.  I feel the power of film and the power within me as a storyteller and filmmaker. I feel the time for this film is now and that people are hungry for hope.

Many documentaries take the critical point of view and certainly have more conflict. Opening Our Eyes is different from other docs in that it shines a light on what IS being done to create positive change by individuals all over the world.  Somehow by showing the small acts, this film makes all of us believe that we can create change as well. It empowers us to believe in the possibilities and gives us the hope we seem to be yearning for these days.

When I first conceived of the idea for this film, inspired by friend and neighbor Maggie Doyne, I was looking for some positive hope myself.  I was tired of listening to the hundreds of “experts” on TV talking and all of them needing to be “right” – and nothing was getting any better. That was long before the Arab Spring and the Occupy movements. What I was sensing was the rest of the world was feeling the same way I was and decided to do something about it.

Time will tell if the film continues to create awareness and moves people to action, but at least I’m hopeful again.

Please consider supporting our effort by making a contribution to our IndieGoGo campaign, which only has a few weeks, left to go. And it’s tax deductible.

We can’t do it without your help.